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LESSONS I LEARNT ABOUT DATING AT THE UNIVERSITY

Gaining admission into the University of Ghana was a dream come true. I knew I had to find my way into one of the country’s tertiary institutions after making good grades in the WASSCE examinations. However, it was not my dream to make it into just any tertiary institution. I had been praying earnestly to be among the lucky ones to make it into the law faculty at the University of Ghana and it worked. My older sister who was two years ahead of me and in medical school at the same university was enough encouragement to make me want to make it there.
Though a single mom, my mother did what was expected of every parent and provided me with all the necessities I needed for school and more. I was 21 and she did not hesitate to advise me on how to choose my friends wisely and take my studies seriously.

I settled quite well, made friends and enjoyed every bit of my stay at the university. I took my studies seriously and honestly did not really care about guys and who could be a potential suitor. But I met John, my first and last boyfriend at the university. He was part of the university’s debating team, which I was a member of. We met at an inter-halls debate competition, after I gathered courage to walk up to him and commend him on his impressive performance. He took my contact and that is how it all started.

I had never been in a serious relationship before, so I made the most of my love relationship with John. As young as 21, smart guys were a complete turn-on for me and John was that and more. There were times he helped me in my assignments and gave me advice on career choices.

I, on the other hand, would cook and clean for him every weekend. My sister Eugenia did not like the idea of how close John and I had become to the extent of me doing his chores, but I really did not care. According to John, his family was not in the country so his money mostly delayed when sent, but I did not mind sharing my pocket money with him, at all.

What started as a healthy and decent relationship developed into an amorous one. I was a virgin before I met John. Even though I admired my room-mates and how frequently they spent the night with their boyfriends on campus, I tried as hard as I could to avoid that. At a point, I felt it was probably normal, so I heeded to one of John’s invitations to spend the night at his hostel. That was when it happened. My virginity was gone.
It was a mixed feeling, I had turned 22 then and I felt proud of my virginity my entire life. I felt empty after losing it to a few hours with John. On the other hand, I thought he was the man I would get married to, so there was no need getting bothered and feeling guilty about something I would eventually make legal.
John’s money never came from his parents for one excuse or the other and my generous self would call my poor mother, make-up a story and take some money for him. Little did I know that the story would be different in a couple of months to come.

It was the long vacation and I fell so sick. John and I had unprotected sex, so many times and I dreaded what it could possibly be. Thankfully, I was diagnosed with malaria. I say thankfully because it could have been a Sexually Transmitted Infection. During the entire holiday period, John seldom called me, and would give excuses of being busy anytime I tried to reach him. Mom noticed some uneasiness in my behaviour throughout the holiday period but failed to get anything from me whenever she inquired. My sister, Eugenia on the other hand knew all that was going on, and gave me what I call the best advice ever, from her heart. One line which resonates with me till date is when she said, ‘As a university student, academic excellence should be your priority. You do not know your future with John, but you know what your future will be when you achieve academic excellence’. That, changed my life.

Even before I ended things with John when school resumed, I heard rumours about his new relationship with my hostel mate, Narkie whom he showered lots of gifts on. This rumour was confirmed by a mutual friend of ours. I really did not need to see John cheating before bringing an end to the relationship. I knew that I wanted an end to it even before the semester began. That was how I called our year old relationship quits with John. By the way, John’s parents were never outside the country. He was simply stingy, greedy and spent all his money on other girls.

If only I knew, I would be more careful and focused on my studies. I lost my virginity and pride to a man who was not worth it. But I am thankful I learnt my lesson somehow. Never again.

November 9, 2017

11 responses on "LESSONS I LEARNT ABOUT DATING AT THE UNIVERSITY"

  1. Life lessons are valuable and it only makes us better people.

  2. God punish u John

  3. It may be a true life story or fictional, but it is a much necessary piece. I have seen my course-mates marry guys they never even spoke to on campus right after Uni.- (We only must be careful with our choices. Some have been lucky dating on campus; it led to marriage). Dating/Courtship is not wrong; Fornication is!
    Experience remains the best teacher! Moving forward, it’s the virginity that was lost; not YOU. Karma is a boomerang! Do no evil; Say no evil. Love with all your heart when next you find love as if you’ve never been hurt before. We only must LEARN; It’s part of the process. Live a life of no regrets, but that which repeats no past mistakes!

    • Thanks for your comment Joyce. Most young people are blinded by superficial things at the university. As you’ve mentioned, some relationships may lead to marriage, but others clearly don’t. What matters is the intention of both parties right from the very beginning of such relationships.

  4. Young ladies need to be careful when in school. Sad ending for an innocent girl.

  5. Mmmm, I just had a feeling he was going to deceive the innocent girl, the more reason why we should be cautious about who we choose to date especially at that level, there’s more to just admiring a guy😊

  6. ahh dx girl paa, so he even dumped u before u ended the relationship and u left him in peace…
    not me ..mtcheew

  7. Aww..poor girl, she didn’t shine her eyes..lol. John is so mean

  8. It’s just unfortunate that this innocent lady had to learn her lesson the hard way but at least we know for sure that she will be much smarter & wiser in her next relationship. You know what they say, ” what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger.”

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