Titus 2:3-5New International Version (NIV)
3 Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. 4 Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.
This verse in Titus says it all. Never ever ask for counsel from an older but unwise woman. There are many older women around who are very bitter in their marriages and will not stop being “killjoys” when people are enjoying their marriages. They usually say things like “all men are the same”, “don’t give yourself too much in your marriage”, and they don’t hesitate to tell you that you should tell your husband to go find food from outside when you feel like you don’t want to cook.
No two marriages are the same and as such, what works in marriage A may not work in marriage B, so when bitter older women are talking about the sour side of marriages, just take it with a pinch of salt and assess your own marriage.
There are wise, older women around who have good counsel. Technology has made it easy these days to seek counsel from older, wiser women without you meeting them face to face.
However, seeking counsel shouldn’t be one way and shouldn’t be the responsibility of the woman alone. While the wife seeks counsel from older, wiser women, the husband is also supposed to seek counsel from older, wiser men. Pressures of this modern world make it very easy for marriages to fade and as such, a lot of hard work and knowledge seeking must be done. I always say that why repeat the mistakes of people. In marriage, look at how other people’s marriages have succeeded or failed and think through every signal you see in yours.
Some marriages have succeeded on secrecy and lack of transparency and others have failed due to these same reasons. Just know what you want and what your spouse wants and what God wants from you both and work hard to make it work.
Seek counsel from God by reading his Holy Word. There are guidelines for living this life in our Holy Books and if only we will humble ourselves, search and abide by the words, life and marriages will be very smooth. Marriage is God’s creation and he alone has all the answers to the problems of marriage. Never take the God factor out of your marriage. Most importantly, take away selfishness from your marriage because it is the root of all evil.