I have been following recent conversations on social media and the controversy on women and their role in the home as wives and home-makers. Some people (mostly women) have even gone further to suggest that if a woman cooks for her husband, she is a slave. I cannot imagine how we got here. How have women come to think that cooking for the person you love is slavery?
I have been married for 15 years. Yes, 15 years and for all those 15 years, my wife cooks, does the laundry, gets the kids ready for school and sometimes helps me get ready for work before we both leave for our various jobs, but she never complains. If she ever felt like a slave, she would have mentioned it, but she never has. This does not mean I do not equally have responsibilities. I pay the bills, clean the cars and coordinate all the plumbing work and other responsibilities meant for the man, and I have also never complained. From a common sense point of view, that is a fair way of sharing our responsibilities based on our strengths and what we are both good at.
I cannot cook, and I never have. Before I got married, I either ate out or had my mom send some food over (whenever I was craving home choo). I never saw the need to learn how to cook because cooking was the responsibility of my sisters. What is wrong with a woman cooking? Is that not what our mothers, grandmothers and great grandmothers used to win the hearts of their husbands? So why would I marry a woman who is deficient in cooking? To top it up, my mother would never have agreed to me getting married to a woman who cannot cook. How on earth was I supposed to feed knowing I have a wife a ‘kitchen deficiency’?
It is disheartening that so-called feminists of today; a bunch of lazy, single and talkative women who do not appreciate the relevance of building sustainable families are wasting their time on social media, misleading young women who could otherwise have become good and responsible wives.
This raises concerns of how we allow our children (especially girls) to have constant access to social media. They end up buying into this poisonous and misleading mentality of what I call irresponsible womanhood.
Interestingly, I have two sets of twin girls and my wife and I are raising them to appreciate a woman’s place in the home. I cannot watch my future in-laws sending my daughters packing because they cannot cook (that would be a disgrace to me). I come from a well-respected family where the man is the head regardless of the woman’s social standing. So as the man, I need to ensure that my girls maintain my honor when they grow up and are ripe enough to get married. They must learn how to cook and be willing to ‘slave’ for their husbands.
What is a women if she cannot cook?
I enjoy my wife’s food as much as I enjoy her sex, compassion and kindness, and that is enough for me. When my wife and I were getting married, I knew I needed a partner who would help take care of me and my household. I wanted a wife material who had the following basic qualities every good woman must have; good cooking skills, good at cleaning and also homely and can care for the five children I planned to have, and importantly, be beautiful with a curvy body shape.
So called feminists should stop getting in the way of the social order. A man is traditionally expected to work and pay the bills while the woman does the cooking whether or not she works. That is how a typical Ghanaian household operates. This does not mean a woman is not respected. It does not also mean she is a slave, and it certainly does not mean she is being abused.
I love my wife and I respect her, but I cannot be the one doing the dishes or cooking while she sleeps or crosses her legs watching a telenovela. That to me, would be gross disrespect. If my wife is at home and healthy, she must play her part. Just as I will not ask her to wash the cars, I will not cook, and that is simple. We both play our roles. And as I said, I have been married for 15 years and we are happy.
So ladies of today, whether they call themselves pepper them or ginger them, must stop their attempt to break other people’s marriages. I now understand why most of them are single.
This is me, my thoughts and what I believe. Let me know what you think.