WHY BLAME A WOMAN FOR A MAN’S LOSS?

Some controversy has been brewing for days, advancing conversations especially on social media on the role of women in the rise and/or fall of the men in their lives. While some express rage by saying women contribute significantly to the downfall of men, others (mostly feminists) are vehemently opposing this assertion, making the debate even more interesting and engaging. All these conversations stem from the current situation of Ex-Arsenal defender Emmanuel Eboue. The unravelling of his bankruptcy and the loss of his assets to his wife has lead and dominated these arguments.

But are women really the bane of men? Simplistically the situation of Emmanuel Eboue from millionaire to ‘broke’ after his divorce where his wife was awarded all their assets may be described as such. But as said before, simplistically.

The 34-year-old footballer is said to be spending days hiding from bailiffs and sleeps on the floor of a friend’s home. It is also reported that he commutes by bus and washes his clothes by hand because he cannot even afford a washing machine. Additionally, the deadline has passed for him to surrender ownership of his home in North London, where he used to live with his wife.

As expected, while some have made it a conversation of race (because his wife is white), others (especially men) have made this a case of gender, suggesting that the loss of his property was because there was a woman in the picture. Comments such as the following on social media are an indication of the gender tags associated with Eboue’s situation.

‘Why even marry at all in the first place when you have all that money? Odartey Lamptey, John Mensah and John Paintsil’s wives are all Ghanaian . It’s not about color, its just women. Make some babies with some woman or women, live your life and ‘nyarm’ who you want. Why monkey for work make baboon chop?’

Blaming women for his (Eboue) or anybody else’s failure is only pathetic as it is bizarre. The law which gave his wife and kids the assets certainly did so in solidarity of the welfare of his three young children and his wife. One would also argue that they both had access to divorce attorneys, which means it was probably a fair deal. Even though nobody seems to care about hearing the other side of the story from the wife in question, let’s attempt to look at the situation from other side.  There are thousands of homeless women and children out in the cold due to failed marriages, but society seems to care less about that side of reality. Some of those women out there in the cold were also married to men. Men who probably rejected them and their children for whichever reason, and society only turns a blind eye and talks less about the inadequacies of the men in their lives.

We live in a society where people hardly talk against violence against women, irresponsible fatherhood, the rape culture, low percentage of women in governance and the rising cases of teenage pregnancy and abortions among adolescent girls. On the other hand, we hasten to shed light on issues which seek to highlight the ‘inadequacies’ of women.

Imagine the tables had turned, with a woman losing all her assets to a man in a divorce case. Society would probably make no fuss about it at all because it is often assumed that every single property in the home belongs to a man. You can also imagine the number of women who may be struggling in their homes due to a similar situation, and cannot make it public because society will find it ridiculous?

Emmanuel Eboue worked hard to earn his money and his current situation is one that anybody would sympathise with. However, throwing tantrums at his wife and women in general is totally unnecessary and unfair. 

Women should not always be blamed for the downfall of men. The fall of a man must not always be associated with the women in his life.

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